So Very Congenial

So Very Congenial by Leila Burton Wells. An extract from the beginning of a risque shorty story that appeared in the, June 7, 1919, issue of John O'London's Weekly.

Billy Everard was riding one of his pet hobbies.
"Given two individuals with similar tastes," he said to his guests, "you could put them in any old place, on a desert island even, and they'd soon be - what we call in love. You've got to have community of tastes. Look at my wife and me, for instance"
"Oh Billy, please don't!" Mrs. Everad exspostulated plaintively, just as dinner was finished, and arose to lead the way into the drawing-room.
"Well, my dear, everyone knows we are happily married. It isn't anything to be ashamed of! But what everyone doesn't know," Billy rode on, "is the reason - absolute congeniality of tastes."
One of the women, as she put her after dinner coffee cup on a tabouret beside her, cast a penetrating glance at Mrs Everad. "I suppose it's true," she hazarded doubtfully, "and it's wonderful, if it is true, but you don't look as if you loved to sit in hot grand stands at cricket matches and polo matches, and go camping in the summer with mosquitoes biting your toes, and no cold cream for your face, and your hair all out of curl."
"But she does, though," her best friend defended. "She honestly just adores everything he likes - even that awful vaudeville. They go twice a week," fondly pushing one of the jewelled combs closer into Mrs. Everad's curly sable-coloured hair. "An ideal marriage with an awfully big accent on the ideal, isn't it, dearie?"
Mrs. Everad laughed with the others, but she looked at them, as she did so, from under her long screening lashes and wondered if they knew! Wondered passionately if they were playing the same game in different ways, all of them! Were they all pretending! Had these other women found out her secret, too? ....

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Twitter In A Nutshell

Lesson in Using Twitter:
Twitter is a place for people who like to tell other people about what they are doing.

An Example:

Person 1; "I'm on the bus."
Person 1's Follower; "Are you?"
Person 1; "Yes."
Person 1's Follower; "What bus is it?"
Person 1; "The 152."
Person 1's Follower; "I like that bus."
Person 1; "So do I."

Walking and Talking

The Lesson

As we are all aware walking is quite a difficult skill to learn, so trying to talk at the same time as walking can be an accident waiting to happen. So I would advise anyone considering attempting to walk and talk simultaneously to practice each individual skill for at least two years before doubling up.

BBC Journalist Strike

Update: Strike now over. No further news to report.

Because of the National Union of Journalists strike on today I have decided to help keep the nation informed of the major breaking news stories from around the world. I will do this for the next forty-eight hours while the strike is ongoing. I will be updating the news every hour.

UK News: A Public House and Hotel just up the road from our office has been badly damaged in a fire.
A survey conducted by conductors has concluded that waving a stick around is not really a proper job.
A celebrity has probably been sleeping with someone other than his regular partner.

World News: A volcano has erupted.
The Prime Minister of Italy Silvio Berlusconi has been caught on camera doing something that does not involve a young woman.

In Search of the Southwold Snob

This is a short lesson in finding a Southwold Snob. Try to look in the seaside town of Southwold as this will give you a much better chance of success.
The first thing you must do is walk up to a person that you suspect of being a Southwold Snob and ask them for directions to Lowestoft. If they give you directions to Lowestoft you have not found a Southwold Snob. If they deny that they have ever heard of Lowestoft you might have found a Southwold Snob. To confirm this you should also ask them if they know where you can purchase some candyfloss. If the individual then walks away from you without even answering this question you can be certain that you have found a Southwold Snob. Good hunting.

Did Shakespeare Read The News?

Of all the writers Shakespeare is the least "topical." His silence on the great figures and events of his time is weird. Yet if we know anything about him we are sure that he was a man of the world, a good "mixer," the friend of great men, a Londoner among Londoners. All that he knew about human nature he learned from the life around him. All the pulsations of his genius must have sprung from the events and conditions under which he lived. How came it, then, that this man about whom his period is so silent, is so silent about his period?

Lowestoft Pie

Simple instructions on how to make a delicious Lowestoft Pie.

Ingredients:
1. Large Cabbage
2. 5 Herrings

Cut a large cabbage in half and lay 5 herrings on top of the flat edge of one half of the cabbage, and then place the other half of the cabbage on top so you end up with a whole cabbage once again with the tails of the herrings sticking out of one side of the cabbage, and the heads of the herrings sticking out of the other. Then using string tie the two halves of the cabbage tightly together. Place in a preheated oven on gas mark 5 for two days, and serve with boiled eggs. Enjoy.

The Covehithe Creature

Legend has it that a massive sea-monster emerged from the depths of the North Sea to climb the cliffs at Covehithe in Suffolk, where it destroyed the village, eating its terrified inhabitants and pulling apart the huge church that once stood like a bastion of Christian faith against the wild and stormy seas. No evidence has ever been found to verify the existence of this terrible creature from the deep, but local people still say they have heard the ungodly screams of their ancestors on dark stormy nights. Below is a photograph of the old church at Covehithe as it looks today, and below that is a picture of one of the jolly locals.