ME: Good evening Mr. Shakespeare.
WILL: Don't "Good Evening" me you ignorant little man.
ME: Sorry. Can you let my readers know why you are so upset with the reviews on Amazon?
WILL: What's in it for me?
ME: I don't understand.
WILL: What do I get out of it - what's my cut?
ME: I'm giving you the chance to speak to the writers of 2012 from beyond the grave, isn't that enough?
WILL: Fuck off.
According to Madame Sharlatane, Mr. Shakespeare then made a farting noise by blowing hard on the back of his hand, and walked off singing sea shanties with Marilyn Monroe.
We will try and get Mr. Shakespeare to continue this interview on a day when he has not been drinking. So watch this space.